Getting Help

As mentioned a few days ago I have had an interesting six months with highs and more lows than normal. It started about Christmas last year as I felt very weak and lacked energy. I had several tests done and there were indications that my body was fighting some bug, though not sure what. After several weeks I gain energy and my body had seemed to have beaten the bug in my system.

However, mentally I still felt drained and down in the dumps. Things just seemed to be going wrong for me, or at least my head was telling me so. This was not necessary the reality, and at the time I had many successful projects on the go. That said I was down more than I was up and needed help. Now, I am not the sort of person that normally goes out and gets help. I am a bit of a do it myself sort of person. I pride myself on being self made…. Well we all need and have the help of others.

When I thought about it, I asked myself the following question “If a friend of mine or a staff member of mine came to me with the issues that I am having, what would be my advice?” The answer was clear….. I needed professional help. With that I went to doctor, who referred me to a Psychologist. I have had two sessions and am starting to feel a lot better, starting with “Being kind to myself”.

Reflecting on these last few months, I have learnt that it is often hard to ask for or seek out help. I am not sure why this is the case, but many times in my life I push on and try to find a solution myself to things, rather than seek out help to make the process quicker……

 

  • What is an area of your life that you could use help with?
  • What is stopping you from getting the help you require?
  • How would the help improve your life or business?

 

 

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Taking the Hit…

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Last week after our Army Exercise we bused home the participants in the Battle Group. This involved busses from Rockhampton, Queensland to various locations in New South Wales and Australian Capital Territory. This was not a great way to travel as it involved twenty plus hours on a bus for most people in order to get home. However it was what it was. Unfortunately there was a problem with the number of seats on the bus to Canberra, which was my destination. We were one short.

The solution was simple, the person who missed the coach would be bused to Holsworthy in Sydney and then a way home from there would be sorted. This would add another few hours to the trip. As the senior rank on the bus, I volunteered to stay behind and take the hit for the team. So the Canberra coach left first at 8am and I waved my goodbyes…

The Holsworthy bus that I was assigned to broke down before it got to the pick up point and hence the departure was delayed until 1pm…. This put me at about 6 hours later getting home, bummer! Sometimes as a leader we need to take the hit for the team or so I thought.

At midday the coordinator of the bus that I had been been assigned to came saw me with good and bad news…. Bad news first…. There are further delays for the arrival of the bus. It will not be here to pick us up until at least 5pm. My heart sank at least another 4 hours delay, “will I ever get home?” was the thought that went through my mind. But then the good news, the Commanding Officer had had enough and decided to fly the people on this bus home…. Oh Yeah, that is awesome…..I will be home that night.

So in the end I flew home, after thinking I was taking a hit and staying behind. I got back to Canberra about 9 hours ahead of the bus and meet the bus at the base on it’s return. Not that I had volunteered to stay behind as I thought I would fly, but in this case it worked out okay… I learnt that sometimes things are just based on luck, however do the right thing anyway.

 

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Climbing 3 Mountains

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The other day I caught up with a friend for a cuppa and got onto the topic of being overwhelmed by tasks at hand. There just seems to be so much to do in this fast moving world of ours. We talked about when there is so much to do we tend to get paralysed and do nothing. We tend to not even start when there is a lot to do. It is ironic that we stop at this point, instead of getting stuck into the task.

My friend and I talked about it as climbing three mountains. It is such a big task that we do not start climbing the first mountain. We get stuck at the bottom of the first mountain saying “We cannot climb 3 mountains today…. It is just too much”. This way of thinking has us closing down our thinking to the possibilities and opportunities to get the task done.

What if we just started the task and focused on just one mountain. We just climbed one mountain. One mountain is climbable today. Just starting the climb builds momentum, it changes the way we think. All the sudden the task looks doable. Possibilities and options to achieve the task open up to us. Starting is the best tool we have to overcome overwhelming tasks, yet it is also the hardest thing.

I challenge you, as I do myself, the next time you come across an overwhelming task, just break a bit of it off and start to work towards achieve that bit. My experience through starting is that the overall tasks starts to look less overwhelming and other options that I had not thought of came to mind.

  • Have you ever been overwhelmed by too much to do and get paralysed?
  • Have you been able to break a little bit off and start?
  • By starting did you start to see other options that reduced the level of overwhelm for the whole task?

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The Next Phase of your Life

Yesterday I was at the celebration for the retirement from Communities@Work of a long serving member, George. Retirement is something that I guess will impact us all at some point, however what is retirement? I like the way it was explained yesterday, as moving into a new phase of one’s life. In this case it was about travel, bushwalking and grandchildren for George.

However in thinking about it, retirement or a new phase of one’s life can occur whenever we want. It is about finances and passion, not age. As long as you earn at least what you need to live, then you can to chase your passion. However ideally your work is also your passion. Many of us have a job, because we need the money to live. This is no way to live our lives. There is many ways to earn money from our passions and to live the life we want to live. It may take some organising to get to that point, but it will be worth it.

  • What is your passions?
  • Is your work leading you towards your passions?
  • What changes can you make to head towards your passions?

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Children Grow Up Fast

Yesterday I attended my son’s school before work for a meeting about his selection of subjects for the last two years of High School…. Then I had the opportunity to have lunch with him later in the day. After being away for two weeks it was good to catch up with him and see him in action.

I was impressed at the school in the meeting in the way he had done his research on available subjects and thought through his options. He led the meeting with the teacher adviser, while his mother and I mostly observed. He communicated clear reasons for his decisions around his subjects while considering some of the longer term effects of these decisions.

Then at lunch we further discussed his choices and the happenings of the last two weeks. I was impressed during the conversation at the way he took responsibility for things in his life and had thought through reasons for his decisions moving forward into the future.

I know that there will be challenges in the future and life is not smooth sailing. While at the same time I look and see how fast my son has grown up. I am proud of what he has achieved and the way he is moving forward.

 

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Be Kind to Myself

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During my break from blogging a number of projects that I was working had problems and issues develop. And I am talking about issues that are not within my control, as issues in my control can be overcome. These issues included areas that I had asked for help from higher and issues were I even suggested solutions but was ignored. Overall this was not a happy place to be. I felt responsible for the issues, even though I had no control over the solution and had communicated the problem to the appropriate persons.

This combination of feeling responsible and having no control of the situation can be quite depressing. It caused me all sorts of concerns and in the end my state of mind did not help the situation or me. It was also very frustrating to feel like I was being held responsible for issues that I had seeked help on and was ignored. Even worse was when with some issues I was being held to account by people superior to me.

  • Have you ever felt responsible for issues that you did not have control over?
  • Have you been held to account for issues that you do not have control over?

It is not a good feeling… I spoke with a number of professionals about some of the issues that I was experiencing and was advised that “I have to be kind to myself”. What I was doing was stressing over things I do not control and that does not make for a healthier person or a good workplace. In the late Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” he talked about a circle of concern and a circle of influence. I was too focused on my circle of concern where I did not have influence and that actually has a negative spiralling effect.

So I have turned this around and started focusing on issues in my circle of influence and what is important to me. This is starting to have results. In what way? Firstly I am not concerning myself with issues that I do not control. I report the issue up with recommendations for solutions as appropriate and then go focus on something that I have influence over. And how do I feel? Much better… and I am sleeping better too….. Be kind to myself!

  • What do you concern yourself with that you have no control over?
  • How can you transfer this concern to the person that has influence over the issue?
  • What is an area that you have influence over and can make a difference?

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I’m Back

I has been a few months since my last blog as I had taken a break from blogging on purpose….. The main reason for the break was that I had too many projects on at the time and was struggling to fit them all in. The break from blogging was good for a number of reasons though. It was a chance to review my blogging and see if this was something that I wanted to continue to do longer term and it was also a chance to think about why I was blogging.

The last six months has been a very interesting time in my life. There has been some highs, but very more lows than normal. In some ways I have struggled to get through the last six months. I will share some of these stories on the blog in the days to come. I will also share how I am getting back on my feet as well.

I hope that you are well and I look forward to picking up our conversation and discussion from previously. Please feel free to contact me if you wish and I look forward to sharing about my life and adventures through this blog into the future.

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Taking a Break

You may have noticed that I have not written a blog post for a little bit. I have been caught up with some big projects and for the first half of this year will be taking a break from blogging. I do enjoy connecting with others and writing my blogs, however at the current time I am lacking the time to write the blogs and stay up with my current projects. I look forward to restarting the blogging in the second half of the year.


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New Year, New Opportunities

The fireworks are done and the New Year has arrived around the world…. Many people have made New Years Resolutions and many have already broken them. Whether you believe in New Years resolutions or not, it is a good time of the year to review the past 12 months and plan for the next 12 months. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

 

  • So what now?
  • Is it going to be business as usual or are you going to make changes in your life?
  • What was last year like?
  • What changes would you like to make?

 

Firstly I like to review the last 12 months. There are things in the last 12 months that I am proud of and need to celebrate. While there are also things that I would like to change or improve for the future. By honestly reviewing the last 12 months I can see what parts of my life I want to continue the same way and what areas I would like to change or improve.

For me I do set goals for the future, however my focus is on who I am and who I want to be…. I think about my life in terms of my health, my family, my friends and my career. What a world of possibilities and opportunities? Looking to the rest of 2015 I look forward to achieving some great things in 2015, while at the same time becoming a better me and seizing the opportunities that lay ahead.

 

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Merry Christmas

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With Christmas this week, it is time to celebrate with family and friends. For Christians it is the time to celebrate the birth of Jesus. It is a time for families to come together and share a meal and share presents. If you celebrate Christmas it is likely that your family has traditions in the way that your family celebrates at this time of year.

For myself, I worked all the way up to and including Christmas Eve…. Though we were sent home at 2pm. And then we had a lovely day at home, having my parents in-law over for lunch. In Australia the day after Christmas Day is called Boxing Day. Once again we spent the day at home, watching movies and enjoying a relaxing day.

I wish you and your family and Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and a great Festive season…

 

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