What is in your Control?

 

  • Are there things that occur in your life that frustrate you?
  • Are these things outside of your control?
  • Does this frustration impact on other areas of your life?

 

I remember many years ago, I was instructing on a course with the Army and there was some areas of frustration for me. These frustrations were outside of my control. It was about things that I had no control over and I was letting these frustrations impact on my performance as an instructor. I was fortunate to receive some very good advice at the time, though at the time I thought it was poor advice. One of the other instructors told me “Let it go, the sun will rise in the morning”.

As I said, I was not appreciative of the advice at the time. However as I have matured, I have taken the advice on. Basicly, when dealing with frustrations I have three key things I review about the situation:

  1. Is there something in the short term that I can do about it?
  2. Are people going to die, be maimed, or is it the end of the world?
  3. What can I do in the long term to make positive change in this area?

If I answer “no” to question 1 and 2, then letting it go is always better for my mental wellbeing. It will ensure that I stay in a positive head space. And yes there is, in my opinion, negative impacts from the issue, however these negative impacts are small in comparison to life itself. Over the longer term I will also put me in a better position to make positive impacts for this situation. To do this I need to maintain my positive mental headspace.

In the end this was great advice…. yes, it took me years to fully understand and yes at times I need reminding, however it has help me to not let other’s incompetence (in my opinion) or misunderstanding upset myself…..

 

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About Attila Ovari

Attila Ovari is passionate about life and thrives on empowering others, in particular when it comes to leadership. Attila has in excess of 17 years of experience in the private, government, not for profit and volunteer sectors. He also has formal qualifications in business, management, training and legal services. He is currently study towards his Masters of Business Administration. Attila’s sense of adventure has taken him around the world. His passion for travel includes a number of community projects in developing nations and he has conducted business on four contingents around the globe. Attila has a passion for speaking, writing, training, coaching and consulting individuals, teams and organisations to achieve greatness. Attila writes at his personal blog www.attilaovari.com, where you will find his contact details.

Posted on Thursday, 19 Jun 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. It’s really a cool and useful piece of info. I’m satisfied that
    you just shared this helpful info with us.

    Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  2. When one’s problem requires a collective response, as is the case when dealing with climate change, the questions you suggest raise a new specter. My responses to questions (1) and (2) are yes and yes. In order to let go of my frustration and deal with (3), I’m preparing myself for the chaos in the years ahead.

    How does one prepare for chaos?

    • You raise some good questions…. Sometimes preparing oneself for the fallout is the only option…. I suggest there is two other options in this case. The first is to campaign for what you believe and the second is be prepared to support your case when the tide of opinion fully turns.

  3. Yes, understand what you mean. Learning to let go is something I try to master. But at times, can’t get over this feeling of helplessness !

  4. Working on some of that now. Stupid things like forgetting to close a window as well as larger things like scheduling for work.

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