Agreeing to Disagree

Have you ever been in a discussion with someone and you do not agree with them on an issue?
Did you try to convince them of your point of view?
What do you do if you still cannot agree?

I am sure that you all have, like me, been in a situation where you are in a conversation and discussion with others that you just see an issue from different points of views. You participate in active listening, you try and understand the position from the other persons point of view and are clear with your message. However there is no meeting of each other’s points of view.

What do you do?

Once you come to the realisation that there is no win-win solution, no third alternative to your dispute or disagreement it is time to call “no deal”. This is not always an easy job, but can you at least get an agreement to disagree? There are a number of factors that will impact on this process.

The relationship between the two parties will be one consideration. If it is a boss-direct report relationship then it may be that you disagree and the bosses plan is the selected way forward. In most business situations this is a normal acceptable approach. If this is challenge from a values perspective then the direct report may move have to another role.

There are times when both parties are so connected for whatever situation that we have to maintain the connection. At least in the short term there may be a need to work together. This is where things are a little more difficult. Compromise is required in this type of situation until you find a way to get to a win-win or no deal position.

If there is no way for agreement, can you agree to disagree?
Is there a power imbalance that means you will have a take it or leave it situation?
Will you need to compromise in the short term, at least until you can get to a win-win or no deal position?

About Attila Ovari

Attila Ovari is an Entrepreneur that loves life and is passionate about adventure. Attila Ovari writes, speaks and coaches to inspire others to better themselves through following their passions and chasing their dreams. He has developed his passions of inspiration, leadership and strategy into strengths through his businesses and community pursuits.

Posted on Saturday, 03 Aug 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Compromise (getting a little from Column A and a little from Column B) is sometimes possible, but often not. When it’s a matter of a boss/employee, my years of experience say: the employee gives in, and shuts up. You know he/she is wrong, but you know you won’t accomplish anything by disagreeing. Let matters take their course, and make sure everyone knows that “Supervisor X has recommended that we take this course of action.”

    • That is true, though a great leader will consider the opinions of the direct reports…. Even if they do not action them.

      As a direct report we need to build our influential power in order to have more say in the future.

  2. In the end you have to agree to disagree, then disagree agreeably 🙂

  3. I am with you Attila, agree to disagree and then step up and do what needs to be done. This is especially true if you do not agree with your superior. You need to show that you are good employee even when you are not in agreement with them. There is only one area that I would not agree to do this and that is if what I do not agree with is compromising my values. Then I would just say no and why.

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