What People Think?
Is it important to you what other people think of you?
Do you wonder what other people think for you?
Do you ever do things because of what others will think about you?
Answering these questions honesty can be difficult. I think that most of us consider what others think at some point. However some of us place more importance on what others think than what others of us do. What is the difference?
Last week this came home to me when there was an out of uniform day at our girl’s school. Angela decided to wear her uniform anyway, as she was proud of it. When she was told that some of the other students may pick on you or make fun of you she just shrugged it off. Even one of the other girls was very surprised…. She was concerned with what others would think if she was in uniform. Two girls with totally different views about what people think of them.
After school I had a chat with Angela about her day. When I asked Angela whether anyone made fun of her because she was in school uniform that day, she replied “not really”. I questioned her further and found that she was the only student in her class in uniform and some people made a small comment at the start of the day, however her reply was that “she likes her uniform”. With this comment and the self confidence that she has, other students realised that it would not be fun to pick on her.
I found Angela’s insight interesting. It got me thinking about how many times I have cared more about other people’s thoughts than my own. It is interesting that when we back ourselves we often discover that people really do not think too much about what we think or do. Think quietly to yourself and ask….. Do you back yourself or do you care too much about other’s thoughts of you?
Posted on Monday, 19 Nov 2012, in Business, Family, Personal and tagged Back to School, Child, Confidence, Education, Esteem, K through 12, Lead, Leader, Leadership, Manage, Management, Manager, Parent, Puberty, School, School uniform, Self Confidence, Self Esteem, Thoughts, What People Think. Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.
Attila,
First – I would like to thank you for following my blog.
Second – I want to tell you how much I enjoy your blog as well.
Finally – I think Angela is a great example of a young lady with great self esteem. So many young people are followers because they are way too concerned with what others may think. It is also true that when you show others your confidence within yourself, they really don’t make a big deal out of anything, its when you are less sure of yourself that gives others pleasure. Because, if Angela would have maybe been less confident they would have teased her through out the day. You not only raised a wonderful young lady, but a great human being. Sounds like she is on the right track in life. As parents we are much more concerned about the out come of some things, more so than the children are.
Lastly – I really like the fact that you sat and asked her about her day, it showed what a great dad you are.
Thank you for the kind words….. I am touched… I am sure there will be ups and downs with the children, however it is good to get a win once in a while.
How fortunate for Angela to have a firm self-foundation!
Truly, much can be learnt by our children.
I feel your joy, Atilla!
Sorry! *Attila*
All good
This is so useful to think about. My first inclination often is not to back myself and think about what other people will think about my decisions. However, more and more I do stop and tell myself that it is alright for me to do what I want or to have a different opinion.Thank you for the post.
Thank you for your comments….. It can be hard to back oneself at times
I generally don’t care what people who don’t matter think-but I prefer to be represented accurately. “Silently hate me” if you will. But don’t love me with a backhanded compliment.
It does matter that people I do care about, I do take stock in what they think.
Great post!
~L
That is a very good summary of caring about what the people you care about think…..
I think we all care. For example, cleaning for company or brushing teeth. Angela is a unique and strong young lady. I bet the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Thanks Jackie…. Children can provide the best examples in life
i have been a people pleaser for so many years, that i am now trying to think of me first just a little. i think we can become lost when we do not know ourselves first and always think about hurting or pleasing others. i hope this sounds alright. i am definitely not a selfish person, but, if we are not happy first, then we are in trouble
It is so great that your daughter has strong esteem! There are too many people today that don’t have any, especially young people. I used to care a lot about what others thought of me, struggling with my own self-worth. Then a few years ago, I started doing research and discovered that my difficulties in life were due to low esteem. I encountered others who were also struggling and began to realize the importance of having good self-esteem. Now I am trying to help others through my website and workshops. We all need to encourage others to believe in themselves and help boost their esteem as well as our own.
Unfortunately i am constantly worried about what others think and i know it’s a bad habit to have. I need to live for me not others. I like her confidence
It can take time to develop the skills and habits to back oneself. One small step at a time. Believe in yourself.
How serendipitous to find this post in my inbox, at the very time I was in the middle of, and about to finish off this current session writing my next post on the subject of ‘validation’. It is refreshing to read about the self-confidence your daughter has in her own decision-making and that she obviously feels worthy enough, that she does not require validation from others. At such a young age Attila, you must be proud of her and of the possibilities her future holds.
How serendipitous to find this post in my inbox, at the very time I was in the middle of, and about to finish off this current session writing my next post on the subject of ‘validation’.
It is refreshing to read about the self-confidence your daughter has in her own decision-making and that she obviously feels worthy enough, that she does not require validation from others. At such a young age Attila, you must be proud of her and of the possibilities her future holds.
I am proud and pleasantly surprised
It all depends on who I am trying to impress, like my mother.
Otherwise I don’t care, especially if it is people I don’t know. I think that feeling goes away if you have high self esteem. Sound like Angela is good to go when it comes to this. I am sure you are very proud. 
Thank you for your comments Liz….. I was very surprised (pleasantly) by Angela’s view.