Choices
Last night I was talking with one of my Army Officers about life’s choices. We were both over 35 and hence have a little life experience. During the conservation we both reflected on our childhood and out 20s. It was interesting how the decisions we make years ago lead us to where we are today. It raised some questions for me:
- What decisions have I made in the past that have impacted on my life?
- Which of these decisions seemed small at time?
- What are some of the unpleasant consequences of these decisions?
- What are some of the surprising consequences of these decisions?
- What have been some of the awesome consequences of these decisions?
When I look back on my life, I can honestly say that I am not where I thought I would be or planned to be when I was 20. That said I can say that I am very happy with the journey my life has taken and the things that I have experienced. In fact I would go as far as to say I am grateful for the life I have led. In reflection even the hard times have taught me lessons and made me a better person.
While looking back it is easy to ask the question….. What if? What if I had……. However each decision we have made is done. We cannot go back into our past and change our decisions. There is no point beating yourself up over the past decisions. Yes, learn from your past decisions, but do not get down on yourself with regret.
Where we are at today is due to what decisions we have made in the past, the focus we have had and allowing for the time for decisions to take effect in our lives. Though we cannot change the past decisions we made, the decisions we make today will impact on our future. This gives us some control of our future.
Today = Past Decisions + Past Focus + Time
Future = Today’s Decisions + Today’s Focus + Time
So about choices:
- Reflect back on you past choices
- What decisions are you grateful for?
- What lessons have you learnt from your previous decisions?
- What decisions are you going to make today?
Posted on Wednesday, 08 Aug 2012, in Army, Business, Family, Personal and tagged Army, Business, Choices, Decide, Decision making, Decisions, Emotion, Experience, Future, Leadership, Learning, Lessons Learnt, Life, Life Experience, Management, Past, People, Reflection, Regret, Regrets, What if?. Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.
Wait another 20 years! It gets better…or do I mean “worse.” Yikes!
That is so true …. thanks for the thought provoking writing!
I look forward to reading future posts …
I enjoyed reading this. Age does have a way of clarifying things….
Well said. It is ironic, I was watching a documentary last night and someone in her 50′s said almost the exact same thing you did about not spending unhealthy time regretting decisions. She said it would eat at her if she did. I think your perspective on the journey being different from when you were looking forward is true for all. We took a reasonable path forward and the journey has been worth the ride. I am reasonably healthy and happy with a wife who overlooks my faults and three wonderful kids. That is what matters most. Thanks for the post.
Thank you for the comment…. Yes, it is important to learn from previous decisions, but also to let go…..
Indeed we are responsible for the choices we make. As we gain this awareness, we release our intrinsic potential for future growth.
Shakti
I like the simplicity of the formula… Thanks for breaking this down into something that is thought provoking!
Oh, gosh! This is so on target. Have you read Daniel Gilbert’s book, Stumbling on Happiness? He talks about this exact thing, only what he hits on is that the time part of your equation is often quite short. He talks about how current self orders ice cream for future self. And when it arrives and you’re holding the ice cream, you think how could that idiot (now past self) have thought that I would like licorice-banana swirl? Everything we do is in service of “future self” and many times that person, whoever we are at the time, really thinks that those decisions were miserable! Good post!
Thank you for your comment. I have not read the book you mentioned, however it certainty sounds interesting and maybe I should. I like the way you summed up the article.
Great post. When I reflect back and look on my choices, while there are some that I would never recommend others make, for me, for my life, they brought me to where I am today and I like where I am. The courageous decisions, the wrong decisions, the non-decisions all provided learning and growth opportunities. Reflect and then rejoice.
Thank you Laurie for your comment. I like the way you mentioned the types of decisions, including the non decisions. Often we think about decisions and forget that not making a decision is also a decision.
I find that the smallest, most inconsequential decisions change our lives SO much. Turning left instead of right. Speaking out or remaining silent. Saying yes instead of no. And invariably, there’s no guarentee that our decisions will change our lives for the better or worse, because we don’t know what would have happened if the alternative choice had been taken …
For years, I moaned about my mother deciding I was too young to take a Singing Scolarship at a famous school, far from home. There’s no guessing what could have happened. Eventually I just had to accept that this is how it happened.
I can’t remember who said it, but luck is defined by being ready to act when opportunity knocks … wether it was good or bad luck is only appernt 20 years later …
Thank you for your comment. I like the way you talk about the smallest decisions and how they can end up having the biggest consequences. But like you say, it may be 20 years later that you realise this.
Well said. I’ve been thinking about choices as well. When we get closer to the end of one chapter of our lifes, we tend to ask: what’s next? That’s where I am right now and I’m glad that you shared some of your thoughts and experiences!
My choice for now: focus on building my business idea, http://www.zeebraamusic.com and don’t let myself compromize my career and dreams! Best, pawel jackowski
Thank you for your comment… All the best with your business venture.
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